Labor

Im terrified.... you think i wouldnt be...since i already had a kid once...but i am... and im not looking forward to the pain/ loooong needle / pooping/throwing up.. labor dealeo....... and yes no matter what people say to try to ease the tension... labor sucks... pain is terrible.. and i got to be honest with you...its the worst experience if you dont like pain.. even if you get the epidural...sorry folks... im an honest girl. and p.s the epidural needle is like literally ------------------------------------------------------------------------   this long. Just for your information..   buut good news is, after all that pain and pushing, etc... i got to hold the greatest gift alive.. Jasper Benjamin Miller...   but also to be honest after all that and not being able to have water or food for 14 hours i didn't feel a connection with Jazz until i got a little more stabilized and rested.. i knew he was safe and sound and healthy and that was enough for me to say " ben you need to take him while i rest for a bit."   THATS NATURAL!!!     alot of people think that when you just have the baby, its automatically a connection, but if you have pushed for a while and been in labor for two days literally,  its totally natural to feel out of it.  i felt like informing everyone of this..   but when i woke up from resting, my husband was right there singing to Jazz. and rocking him. and i knew that was my baby and i was ready for him.  

when i woke up from resting, i found my boys.. happiest moments...

falling asleep next to my son was the greatest blessing..

Right after i had him...