Wednesday, October 7, 2015

Being a Full time Mom.

I hear from all different places that being a mom is not a job. Its a chore.

Are you serious? It is SO not a chore....and yes..if mothers got paid to do what they do, we would all be billionaires.   
Hearing things like that, or mom shaming is definitely not okay in my book. 
Its the most disrespectful thing you EVER could say to a mom.  

Let me tell you a story..

There was a very independent girl. She always had a job and did well at what she did.  She was a very wild and free spirit who planned weddings for a living.
One day she got the news she was going to have twin babies. She and Her prince were so happy. 

One day she miscarried and the pregnancy took a turn.. she had to quit her job and take it easy.
When that baby boy was born, everything changed..
She changed him, 
she soothed him,
She cared for this little one
and she above all LOVED him
he showed signs of wanting someone to play with 

a year later, She got told she was pregnant with twins.  
she miscarried, again.... then a miracle happened... 
after she had to get a D.N.C, she went in a week later for a follow up...and was told there was a healthy fetus still in there...Our little Shiloh.
His name means * From God* 

He was born, and everything changed... 
His personality is so hard at times... so trying.... so exhausting. His needs were completely different from those of Little Jazzy mans.   

She decided she wanted to spend every waking moment with her children and was lucky enough to have that opportunity.  Her husband was very wealthy and educational man. 
She decided to stay home.
Yes, to deal with the tantrums, the cleaning, the laughter, the soccer games, the birthdays, the constant fighting and teasing, the emotional roller coaster and preschool, and regular school, taking them to appointments, having play dates, making sure that their needs were 100% met. 

That is what a mother does.

Im going to write down what I DO on a daily basis.

- Breakfast
-let dogs out
- dishes
- Take Shiloh to preschool
- spend one on one time with Jazzy man
-let dogs out
- Go get Shiloh
-Take Jasper to Kindergarten
-spend one on one time with Shiloh
- clean kitty litter
-Go get Jasper from school
-clean the kitchen
-let dogs out
-fit a movie in 
- Vaccume
- errands
- sweeping
- making sure kids get outside time
- babysitting
-  Get dinner ready
- bath time
-story time-
and when bedtime rolls around....

Really? You would think right?  Nope...
Shiloh still gets up 9 times a night. It gets so tiring. So hard. 
my patience gets tested more then you will ever know... And it gets SO hard... especially with my own health.
But I do it.
For free. Not because it is a chore. But because it is my responsibility to raise these beautiful children in LOVE.    I do not get paid, I have put my own needs last to make sure these children get what they need in life... your mom and dad did it ( hopefully) and now it is my turn.. 

My children are awesome. I wouldnt change it. But bottom line is,
Never tell a woman that being a stay at home mom isnt a job.

What is a job to you?  Answer that and then look at what a mom does.

Tuesday, October 6, 2015

The Word SEX

AH HAH!! You opened this... therefore you were intrigued. And I bet your one of a " few" who refuses to talk about it.    This post is going to be weird because I am going to get all weird and personal... I feel its quite important to talk about this issue especially in the L.d.s community, its basically shunned to talk about.
I seriously do not even believe how NOT talked about it is..I mean lets get with the times...and be honest... We Mormons breed like crazy.. Every-time I even mention anything about sex, I somehow loose friends in the church... or I get avoided.  Its so dumb.
I'm not going to quit going to church. I intend to go for the rest of my life. But I'm not going to be ashamed to talk about a perfectly NORMAL act of love. Sex is beautiful and bonds two people together for the rest of your life.
I once made a comment about a penis because I didn't understand why a penis had anything to do with holding the priesthood in the bible times... perfectly normal question to ask... it had to do with the lesson..
The moment i asked the question, i got yelled at not only by the bishop, one of the stake presidency ( prouse)  and some of the relief society presidency... Ben and I sat there like..." your kidding right?" It was a legit question and I didn't understand.   SO...  I did what any normal person who doesnt understand something WOULD do....I asked " what does an uncircumcised penis have to do with holding the priesthood"

Now 10 weeks later,

 i'm still getting shunned by people and treated so poorly that it hurts...
I've realized i cant change others or how they view me.....  I asked a question that had the word " penis" in it... and now, i feel like i don't even belong anymore.
BUT!.... I am a Schnebly ( by adoption ) and a Curtice ( by blood ) and I am persistent and I realized my testimony comes before liking others.  
AND FOR THE RECORD... a woman who breastfeeds gets shunned too. Her baby cries and she pulls out her boob and its quiet and she gets shunned too... What...the ...hell is wrong with people and doing natural things?!
So the topic I am going to be talking about today is.......

Yes, I said it.
Its healthy to say and Do for that matter.  I'm not by any means telling unwed couples to go off and do it.  This is directly for Married couples or Couples who are mature and old enough to make their own decisions in life.

As Cameron Diaz Said " It is what we are here to do." ( This is for adults only) 
I was blessed in life to find someone who completes me. Sex was meaningless to me ( no offence to those Who had the opportunity to share that experience with me haha ) until i met someone who taught me that passion exists and its more then just "feeling"  Its combining how two people feel. 

Its a normal thing and should not be shunned, or talked bad about... Don't be crude about it by any means or crass... Talk about it in a way that you are proud to have found that special someone who completes you and would do anything for you enough that you share your whole world with and bed. 


Lets again, be honest with ourselves: there are a ton of health benefits to sex, and yes, I shall outline them for you!

What did you say?, Why YES all of them are true. :)  

Growing up, sex wasn't talked about in my home, and quite frankly i didn't know what i was feeling and so I went exploring and found a lot of stuff and it got me in trouble... 

Talk about sex people.  Its important.. and honestly, its natural. Get over yourselves and start talking about it.
 Do you think your better then the rest of us?.... I see you have 6 kids...  wow... you must be a crazy lady in the sheets :)  It clearly shows.. :) 

So bottom line. Sex is awesome. Doing it with someone you love is even more awesome. Doing it with your husband is even greater. 

All my love,

Saturday, December 28, 2013

Santa Claus came to town!!!

Twas the night before Christmas and all through the house, everything was stirring, yes even the dogs.
The stockings were hung by the chimney, with care,
in hopes that they wouldn't get torn off.

The children were all over the house and not in their beds
while visions of presents and candy filled their heads.
And mamma in her jammies and dad in his levis,

While going out of our minds, we heard such a clatter,
Ben and i sprung to see what was the matter,
Away to the living room, we flew like a flash,
to find little Shiloh, tipped over the Christmas tree...
Everything was a mess...

Oy.... it was hectic,  our only way to get them to bed, was to actually say ,  " if you don't go to bed, Santa wont bring you anything"
They finally did... In the morning we heard Jasper's door open, and tip toeing  out to see the presents, i secretly smiled in bed,  he came in,


We got up, for once Shiloh stayed asleep till 9  and than we had to wake him up.  We had to do alot today, We opened gifts and everything was perfect.  The kids were happy and so were we to see that they liked what we got them...oh excuse me... what Santa got them...
We had an unexpected  stresser come up.. we were planning on going to my parents for breakfast,  until Bens parents told us, they would be gone in a few hours... Jasper wanted to give gifts to Taylor and Everyone, he was excited.. and than they dropped the bomb that Taylor had to work at noon.... so that was a bigger stress, i got Tay's name for Christmas, so i needed to go get him the present before he left... so i called my parents and gave them the news that we wouldnt get to come to the traditional breakfast... It was 10:30... we quickly left, i felt bad that the kids couldnt play with their toys much... but we went,  we gave the presents and opened them there, and quickly left for my parents.
We ate the traditonal smoothe pancakes my mom makes.  Jasper ate 3 but that doesnt suprise us he loves pancakes    anyways im getting bored  lets getto the pictures and stuff.  Everyone loved thier gifts. This year we really wanted to keep the reason for the season in tact.  We really want our children to know that its not always about gifts, i was realizing i was not getting through to a 4 and 2 year old... so i gave up.. they are young.  Let them enjoy it while they can :)

A couple days before Christmas, building darth vader

Shiloh and Jasper opening their first gifts

Ben opening his guitar i gave him.  Customized and everything.

Taylor...being Taylor. He wanted to relay the message that " he is kinda a big deal"

Shiloh being a great daddy to his baby

Grandma with her new granddaughter

Ben got me this for Christmas.. its so sparkles like crazy..

Jasper loving his new art set

Just a random Wild turkey in our neighbors yard

All loving the baby, making sure its fed, changed and burped.

Yes... This is our Christmas photo.

The night before Christmas, building things and wrapping things.

I just love this.  Art makes me feel closer to god.

The next day after Christmas, i walked out of my room, and found another ring. My wedding ring updated and Ben put diamonds on the side, AND HE MADE THE DIAMOND BIGGER!!!  He wrote the most adorable note too. :)

Thursday, December 19, 2013

Birthday wish and wondering.

 Ben took off the whole week, for my birthday and Christmas stuff.... yes...My birthday. It came again.. i usually hate my birthday, it just reminds me of how i wasn't wanted.  I got put up for adoption.. and although i got put in a good and strong family, there is still that abandonment feeling of " i wasn't wanted"  i wonder every birthday if my mom even thinks of me,  every birthday i think of her. She is my main focus.. which is sad,  she literally messed up my life, she did drugs while pregnant with me, and because of that, i have a ton of health issues.. yes i am blaming her.  Anyways.. this birthday Ben woke me up at midnight and kissed me and said " happy birthday, make a wish"  In the morning, Ben made me pancakes and mini sausages. :)
That day, we went to Jasper's preschool Christmas party, i didn't want to miss it :) i'm so proud of that boy :)  after that Ben took me to Texas roadhouse, and than to the hobbit. My brother Taylor came :) i'm really so grateful for that boy, ( Taylor )  because my own brother hasn't called me on my birthday for over 3 years... this year he text me.. so that's better than nothing..  anyways, Taylor has been the brother that i have needed.  He is everything Drew hasn't been. He tells me he loves me.  Taylor called me and wished me happy birthday and wanted to come give me cake etc.. we went to the hobbit :) I'm a huge LOTR fan...  it was a huge disappointment though... i didn't know they were making it into three parts....My parents took the kids while we went out by the way.
It actually was a perfect birthday.  Ben got me a purse and hat :)  My parents gave me a new shirt and some dishes and my mom got  me a porclean ( or how ever you spell it) necklace with my name engraved on it :) and Ben's parents got me a 25$ gift card to the movies :)  I enjoyed it.  I actually didn't focus on my bio mom, its becoming easier and easier for some reason...Anyways.
I couldnt be more grateful for My family, Ben, my kids and Taylor :)

I rarely read, when i do, it has to be good on the first page... but you can guarantee that you will always find me reading a T.A Barron book :)   Reading on my birthday..
Here are some of Jasper's preschool Christmas party pictures..
The kids LOVED having daddy there. 

What the kids made :)

Shiloh doing the Christmas tree Bingo

HERE is a flashback
i found this photo.. i was 5 years old.. I don't know if i look like Jasper or not :) Shiloh got all of Ben's looks   Jasper got mine :) But this picture says otherwise...what do you think?  P.s  notice the Jelly Shoes? :p and yes my face was in a diary, for as long as i can remember, i have had a diary or written in one... 

Saturday, December 14, 2013

This and that. Park City and Shopping and Surgery.

Missy and I went up to  Park City for my birthday..  It is actually on the 17th, but every year we go up and stay in my condo. Its quite nice :)  We went shopping and watched a movie  it was way cozy.  We went shopping the next morning. We literally hit every store at the Tanger outlet mall!  After spending 400$ I think we were about done.  She spent more! haha it was nice to have some retail therapy and with ben getting a huge bonus, he gave me that as a birthday gift :)  He does it every year.  I had a lot of gift cards so that was a bonus. My Christmas shopping is done! I bought the cutest leggings and a matching dress for my new Niece, and some cute pink slippers and a top for my other niece,  Everything was under 12$ at Gymboree there.  I got Jasper some new levis for 3.99!! And Shiloh a cute pirate shirt.  Shy gets  all handy downs from Jazzy man, so I don't normally get new clothes for him, but its always nice to get him something new.  I have to get new clothes for Jazz because he is just growing growing!! Its awesome to see them grow :)  They look totally different. Jazz totally looks like me, and Shy guy looks exactly like his dad.   ANYWAYS.  We hit the cosmetic store. :) Getting new MAC makeup is always awesome.  All my makeup was almost  gone.  MAC is way expensive but yet again, everything was 30% or 40% so I ended up getting foundation, eye liner and primer and eye shadow from Clinque and some other stuff, all for 70.00$  Totally a stellar deal!  Missy got like six dresses.. she is a fashion MAJOR and her closet is over flowing,  but when she walks in the room, EVERYONE looks at her and is sooo jealous.  Missy has designer clothes and just looks amazing,   I'm totally clueless when it comes to fashion, I've decided awhile ago that there is no point anymore getting expensive clothing, because I have two toddlers, and I get dirty within, twenty minutes haha.  Oh well. Maybe sometime and someday, I will go back to expensive clothing.
While up there, I missed my kids sooooo bad and missing ben was even more hard, it was our first time in six years being away from each other hahah. Lame I know, but we always travel together. And both enjoy being with each other, when we need girl time or guy time, we spend half a day or a full day out but we ALWAYS sleep by each other.  But it was only a night, I'm such a wimp. I know,  we went swimming and spent two hours in the hot tub. It was relaxing. Very nice. And just relaxing. Its what Missy and I needed.
When I got home, I found cookies on my door step and notes from others on my door,  I just love my neighbors!  It was for my birthday! :)   Ben and I went to Costco.  Every year, Bens work gives us 500$  for Costco two weeks before Christmas.  So we went there and got groceries and Christmas gifts:) I just love bens work. Not just cause of that, but because Ben has an awesome and professional boss who is very well respected.  The environment is Mormon, and they are way family oriented.  They have the cocktail party/ dinner, and a family Christmas party with santa there. We are just thrilled and grateful for them, Ben has worked for them for two years now. So today was just full of shopping.  MY FAVORITE!
Ben was sick when I got home, or was getting sick. So that was a downside. Ben hardly gets sick, he has a very good immune system but when he gets sick, its very bad. It totally wears him out for days at an end. After Costco I got a bladder infection, sitting in a hot tub didn't really or wasn't the  best idea. I get bladder infections at least twice a month.  I have major kidney problems.  So its hard, and I get kidney stones and bladder infections so much, its very painful. I actually passed three two days ago :(  those hurt so bad :( im lucky my doctor gave me strong narcotics,  I wanted to die. 
The other day, I  went in the living room to check on Shiloh and Jasper and I saw white power all over the living room and on the brown couch and kitchen.... I looked for the " baby powder"  it turned out to be bleach comet.... my patience was tested.... believe me..... it was all over Shiloh's black new shirt too.
On other news, our dog ( my parents dog who is seriously loved by the whole world. Everyone loves Boone)  got another surgery, but this time on his leg, something burst in it and was bleeding from the inside.. so bleeding internally.  he is resting.  Boone has been one of my best friends ever since we got him as a puppy!  Love him!! He is getting old, but is still active    we love him and he is my dads best friend.  My dad is obsessed with him.  Everytime his dog dies, he always gets the same breed within a month. Golden Labs.  We have had three dogs in my life time and each was my best friend.  Barley he was just called Barley,  Jim Bridger we called him Bridger and Daniel Boone we just call him Booney or Boone.  All named after mountain men.:) Don't ask why. My dad just names them.
I'm really tired. and I cant really think of anything more to write.
I'm going to post some pictures and go to bed.  The pictures should say enough about other things going on. They always say, pictures say a thousand words!   xoxoxo

after the surgery

After the surgery

Jasper Found a HUGE ice cicle or how ever you spell it.

Jasper about to pounce on his dad!

First Kidney stone.. it may look small, but it is known in the medical world as really big. It took three hours to pass and I literally wanted to kill myself, it hurt that bad, the others came after.

Shiloh being the cutie he is.

Shiloh is getting his mommy's curl :)

Friday, December 6, 2013

Snow and Cheer

My favorite time of the year is here!  Although i'm sure all of you know how much i despise the snow, i love the feeling of cheer and love around Christmas.  I sure do love it.  I couldn't help it, i put up the decorations on thanksgiving.  Seemed to fit perfectly, that day is so quiet and so i decided while we waited for dinner we would do Christmas stuff :)  I'm not one of those types of people who wait a week in advance to put up a tree, lights etc... i'm really not.  I always think those types of people really don't understand how dumb that is, because all that work of hurrying to put everything up, it will have to go down the next week.... and than that's more work...

I totally forgot that i had to do a quick lesson this last Sunday... i winged it and it went okay :) I sure do love that calling. I'm glad i get to encourage others and help those in need and teach.

Shiloh and Jasper love the snow.. Shiloh HATES wearing gloves... yet he learns the hard way, that snow is cold and it burns when you touch he cried for a good ten minutes until his hands warned up inside... he still to this day, hates gloves...sigh...

Jasper loves the sparkly snow.  I love watching him do snow angels.  He is doing well in preschool.  I am so grateful for him being able to go there. He learns so much and just loves it there. Making friends his age and learning how to share and love and he loves to make the crafts there.  The $110.00 we pay a month for that place is WELL worth it. His and Shiloh's education ALWAYS comes first.
  He came home with a decoration he made. Such a little blessing.  He was so happy about it!  i'm so glad he just loves it.  We do too.

I am so grateful for friends. I was shoveling our driveway, and my back totally felt like it split in half.. I called Sister Loftis, and being the doll she is, came over within five minutes and snow blew our driveway,  i looked outside and saw also the man two houses up who i only talk to and wave too. He was doing the slush outside on my road/driveway with his snow blower, i later went to him and said thank you in person, and he said " you are always just so nice to me and never judge us because we smoke, i saw you shoveling and was going to come help you anyways"  I am so grateful for my dear neighbors and friends.  

Traffic was so bad this one day when it snowed all day, that it took Ben two hours to get home,  from Murray. He got here at 8:00PM.  Ben took this photo.

Only in Bountiful you will see this... i guess this is one way to put up a tree....

I was outside tending to the chickens and I saw this cute face.