Birthday wish and wondering.

 Ben took off the whole week, for my birthday and Christmas stuff.... yes...My birthday. It came again.. i usually hate my birthday, it just reminds me of how i wasn't wanted.  I got put up for adoption.. and although i got put in a good and strong family, there is still that abandonment feeling of " i wasn't wanted"  i wonder every birthday if my mom even thinks of me,  every birthday i think of her. She is my main focus.. which is sad,  she literally messed up my life, she did drugs while pregnant with me, and because of that, i have a ton of health issues.. yes i am blaming her.  Anyways.. this birthday Ben woke me up at midnight and kissed me and said " happy birthday, make a wish"  In the morning, Ben made me pancakes and mini sausages. :)
That day, we went to Jasper's preschool Christmas party, i didn't want to miss it :) i'm so proud of that boy :)  after that Ben took me to Texas roadhouse, and than to the hobbit. My brother Taylor came :) i'm really so grateful for that boy, ( Taylor )  because my own brother hasn't called me on my birthday for over 3 years... this year he text me.. so that's better than nothing..  anyways, Taylor has been the brother that i have needed.  He is everything Drew hasn't been. He tells me he loves me.  Taylor called me and wished me happy birthday and wanted to come give me cake etc.. we went to the hobbit :) I'm a huge LOTR fan...  it was a huge disappointment though... i didn't know they were making it into three parts....My parents took the kids while we went out by the way.
It actually was a perfect birthday.  Ben got me a purse and hat :)  My parents gave me a new shirt and some dishes and my mom got  me a porclean ( or how ever you spell it) necklace with my name engraved on it :) and Ben's parents got me a 25$ gift card to the movies :)  I enjoyed it.  I actually didn't focus on my bio mom, its becoming easier and easier for some reason...Anyways.
I couldnt be more grateful for My family, Ben, my kids and Taylor :)

I rarely read, when i do, it has to be good on the first page... but you can guarantee that you will always find me reading a T.A Barron book :)   Reading on my birthday..

Here are some of Jasper's preschool Christmas party pictures..

The kids LOVED having daddy there. 

What the kids made :)

Shiloh doing the Christmas tree Bingo

HERE is a flashback

i found this photo.. i was 5 years old.. I don't know if i look like Jasper or not :) Shiloh got all of Ben's looks   Jasper got mine :) But this picture says otherwise...what do you think?  P.s  notice the Jelly Shoes? :p and yes my face was in a diary, for as long as i can remember, i have had a diary or written in one...