Knock and it shall be opened.

This past week i have felt so discouraged, getting hit by a car while walking and having injuries hasnt been the most greatest experience. . Anyways, back to the whole discouraged thing,   and questions passed through my mind about everything, i became distant,  i felt like temple was getting farther away and that i was doing something wrong,  i didn't feel close to my garments like i did when i came out of the temple for the first time.  I became quite sad and discouraged.  It was at 12 am where i knelt down and prayed, asking for guidance.  Afterwards, i sat there and listened ...nothing.  I became even more discouraged. 

After i went into my room and turned back on the relief society broadcast, the first speaker spoke about my temple covenants; and the second speaker talked about comfort and than our dear sweet president came on, he expressed that we are not alone, and charity is important, he also spoke of a story that sounded almost like mine, i felt abandoned. His words touched my heart. And i felt my saviors love for me, i knew i wasn't alone,  i realized i needed to go to the temple again and just listen and love and remember my covenants. 

This past week, my heart has been so hating, and so vile. Anger took over alot of it. Getting hit  by a car by a teenage punk and just hating him, but later on, something happened.  His mother called, telling me how sorry she was. As she sat there apologizing she expressed that her husband walked out on her, and her son acting out was not helping, she had to have three jobs to support her family, and even though she expressed how tight things were, she offered to pay for everything, even emotionally.  Her heart was so heavy, i felt it, and i felt the love god had for this woman, i said " don't worry, i'm okay, you  take care of your family, im okay"  i felt her heart and the burden that was on it, lifted up and her spirit became happier.  

At that moment i realized my prayer had been answered, i felt his love through this story.  I forgave.  

i remembered the scripture,  Matthew 7: 7 and it just made my heart feel the spirit.  He does answer prayers, maybe not the way you think it should, but when he does, you feel his love.  

This past week i also made some changes that i never thought i would have.

I called and canceled my tanning membership It was hard because i did it because it made me look older and i kept getting compliments on how much healthier i looked and more grown up rather than without tanning lotion i looked 16 and to young to have kids, i canceled it because the tanning lotion was staining my garments, i didn't like that. It made me quite sad.  That was a sacrifice i made.  I realized the worldly things don't matter. I also made a commitment to save money and not get my eye brows waxed etc.  I was beautiful the way god made me.  

 

The devil is always near us. Trying to get us to care about the worldly things, and trying to discourage us and lure us away from our father in heaven. i dont really care or like the devil.. 

Ps. I got extended a calling last week of being the woman who stands up and gives the visiting teaching lesson to the relief society on Sunday and motivating them to teach, and telling them how this months lesson makes me feel and helping them to understand that months lessons, and what it means to me. and that made me realize, one of my talents,  for so long i have been so desperate to find my talent that god gave me, i have tried so many hobbies,  sewing, jewelry, making hats, crocheting, making soaps, photography, singing, violin, drums, piano, crafts, scrapooking, drawing, reading, websites, etc. i have literally tried everything and was beginning to think my talent was shopping, spending money and stressing about everything,  And i realized my talent, finally, i was put here with a very special talent, to motivate and to teach, and to help people. To help them get back up on their feet. I than also realized that throughout my life when so many people tried to get through to some people but could not, and just gave up on them, i didn't, i was the one who could get through to people. I related to them from the experiences i had in life. And they became happier and got back up on their feet.   It is a very strong and powerful talent.  I may not have the best crafting skills or anything worldly but i do have a gift and that's good enough for me. God has blessed me.