Knock and it shall be opened.

This past week i have felt so discouraged, getting hit by a car while walking and having injuries hasnt been the most greatest experience. . Anyways, back to the whole discouraged thing,   and questions passed through my mind about everything, i became distant,  i felt like temple was getting farther away and that i was doing something wrong,  i didn't feel close to my garments like i did when i came out of the temple for the first time.  I became quite sad and discouraged.  It was at 12 am where i knelt down and prayed, asking for guidance.  Afterwards, i sat there and listened ...nothing.  I became even more discouraged. 

After i went into my room and turned back on the relief society broadcast, the first speaker spoke about my temple covenants; and the second speaker talked about comfort and than our dear sweet president came on, he expressed that we are not alone, and charity is important, he also spoke of a story that sounded almost like mine, i felt abandoned. His words touched my heart. And i felt my saviors love for me, i knew i wasn't alone,  i realized i needed to go to the temple again and just listen and love and remember my covenants. 

This past week, my heart has been so hating, and so vile. Anger took over alot of it. Getting hit  by a car by a teenage punk and just hating him, but later on, something happened.  His mother called, telling me how sorry she was. As she sat there apologizing she expressed that her husband walked out on her, and her son acting out was not helping, she had to have three jobs to support her family, and even though she expressed how tight things were, she offered to pay for everything, even emotionally.  Her heart was so heavy, i felt it, and i felt the love god had for this woman, i said " don't worry, i'm okay, you  take care of your family, im okay"  i felt her heart and the burden that was on it, lifted up and her spirit became happier.  

At that moment i realized my prayer had been answered, i felt his love through this story.  I forgave.  

i remembered the scripture,  Matthew 7: 7 and it just made my heart feel the spirit.  He does answer prayers, maybe not the way you think it should, but when he does, you feel his love.  

This past week i also made some changes that i never thought i would have.

I called and canceled my tanning membership It was hard because i did it because it made me look older and i kept getting compliments on how much healthier i looked and more grown up rather than without tanning lotion i looked 16 and to young to have kids, i canceled it because the tanning lotion was staining my garments, i didn't like that. It made me quite sad.  That was a sacrifice i made.  I realized the worldly things don't matter. I also made a commitment to save money and not get my eye brows waxed etc.  I was beautiful the way god made me.  

 

The devil is always near us. Trying to get us to care about the worldly things, and trying to discourage us and lure us away from our father in heaven. i dont really care or like the devil.. 

Ps. I got extended a calling last week of being the woman who stands up and gives the visiting teaching lesson to the relief society on Sunday and motivating them to teach, and telling them how this months lesson makes me feel and helping them to understand that months lessons, and what it means to me. and that made me realize, one of my talents,  for so long i have been so desperate to find my talent that god gave me, i have tried so many hobbies,  sewing, jewelry, making hats, crocheting, making soaps, photography, singing, violin, drums, piano, crafts, scrapooking, drawing, reading, websites, etc. i have literally tried everything and was beginning to think my talent was shopping, spending money and stressing about everything,  And i realized my talent, finally, i was put here with a very special talent, to motivate and to teach, and to help people. To help them get back up on their feet. I than also realized that throughout my life when so many people tried to get through to some people but could not, and just gave up on them, i didn't, i was the one who could get through to people. I related to them from the experiences i had in life. And they became happier and got back up on their feet.   It is a very strong and powerful talent.  I may not have the best crafting skills or anything worldly but i do have a gift and that's good enough for me. God has blessed me. 

Oh a camping we will go and other shenanigans!

Ben took the kids on a campout with the ward up to spruces.  It was Jasper's second camp out and Shiloh's first:)  They did great.  I wasn't worried quite as much this time. Ben's father took his five kids camping every month since they were Shiloh's age. The mountains is where Ben loves to be. Its his passion. So i'm glad they had some father and son time.  As for me?  Well, i have a friend who works at the theater, so i got in free and went to go see two movies,  Despicable me and Mortal Instruments ( for the fourth time...)  I have to admit, Jace is my crush...so i just go to see him and his beautiful face.
Despicable me 2 was kinda crude.. it seemed more like a teenager show rather than a kid show... i didn't really enjoy it as much.  

Here are some cute photos of the camp out.  I got them a cute little tent before they left as a little fun gift. They had a blast.  They were tired the next day for sure. Stayed up late. Did marshmellows etc.   They said it wasnt to cold. So im glad.   We got Sleeping bags for Christmas so we packed those up and a Camping lantern and some food water etc:)  The whole shebang.   

Well the cold is coming on... I hate winter and i hate the cold... i don't think i hate anything else more than the cold and winter.... It reminds me of that horrid townhouse we lived in In west Jordan.. so dull and so gloomy and miserable. No yard, Horrid neighbors, etc  we were totally tricked into that place.. BUT we are in our own house now,  a quite big one, with a hill and a huge yard and in the neighborhood i grew up in  and Jasper has all kinds of friends to play with any day and great ward for sure :) so i'm excited to see what this year has to hold for winter.  I love decorating for Christmas though  :)

Plus my birthday is in December which means Park City up at our condo that my parents bought. 

 Cant believe i'm going to be 24. 

Halloween is coming up right around the corner.  I got Jasper and Shiloh costumes, but i wasn't so creative this year. Money is money, and since we have a house now and other expenses  I figured costumes are 30-40 dollars and they only wear it once... so i found some cute superman and batman pj's that had a cape etc.. and i thought to myself... that works and this way they can make the memory last and  wear them alot. :)  Jasper was excited to be superman.  I got two of each  so they each have a superman and batman outfit.

Ben and I went to the temple again for our date. I did a name. Elvira Coleman. She was born in 1905 in Lawrence Ohio.  It was exciting and a special experience to help someone else out who was dead.  I just love going to the temple.. it just makes me feel great. Helps me get away from the stresses of life. 

Bad day all around. Prayer made it better.

Well today was hard, last night i updated my phone to the IOS7 on my iPhone,  the next day, none of my chargers would work in any outlets. It kept saying, " charger not acceptable for this accessory." so i tried others with no luck. My phone was dying,  my cell phone is my only way of communication since we don't really have a home phone.  I text and  call and do email on there. I carry it everywhere. Anyways, so i ran to Walmart, i got this charger that the woman gave me. ( im kinda oblivious when it comes to those things)  i bought the darn thing which cost 29.00     i went out to my car to charge my phone, it didn't work.  So i ran back in and returned it, and went back in the back to find another one, she said they didn't have one and there was none in back stock... so i ran over to the wireless cell phone place in the same store again. They didn't have one there either and so i went in the back again and got a generic one... i went again back up to the front ( by than my patience was getting very low and my feet hurt) and i asked them to plug it in before i got it just to see if it would work.  She refused.... i got pissed.  I went out to the car after buying that one ( which was 14.00) and it didn't work.. I also lost my key to my car, i literally broke down.  And no one had my spare key,  I sat in my car and balled.  I said a prayer.  And sure enough i found my key, and my charger just started working .. and i also found my temple recommend that i lost while getting garments two days ago.. which broke my heart, it felt like loosing my drivers license ... its that important.  It was very sad indeed... anyways  it all turned out okay,  prayer is a great thing.. it was a miracle.

Yesterday we just had some fun taking photos.  Ill put those up.

The loss of a sister, and sealed for eternity to my family.

It has been a hard month. We have dealt with a ton, death, greedy people who only care about money and themselves, kids screaming spells, stress, battled the cold, and finally we got some relief, i am so proud and honored to say that Ben and I and the kids are sealed for time and all eternity, We got sealed in the Bountiful Temple on September 14th 2013. I never in my life have i felt so accomplished and filled with the spirit, Since going in and while i was in there, made me realize a lot. I'm so glad that i didn't invite a lot of people. It was very personal and very private. I only invited people whom i love and i know love me.

Jasper started preschool, He just loves it, He loves his teacher Ms Judy, he goes three times a week, and it has helped his social skills, he has grown up with older kids and learned how to play with them. rough housing etc  it is nice to have him play with kids his own age and learn what they do.  The preschool is right around the corner which is a bonus.  No matter what, i wont ever sell my kids short of education, we always put money aside to put in their education fund etc. it is very important they have the right education, it is almost impossible in this world to get by with no education,   i want them to get the best.

First day of preschool.

My parents came home from another mission and trip to Europe, They were gone a whole month. It was hard.
Ben and i got the awesome thing,  we won a trip to Cancun. Free round trip and hotel :)  Im glad that God is watching over us and giving us a break. We need it.

It has totally baffled me how greedy people can be. I cannot believe how much money effects people. You think that you found great people and than when money becomes involved, you realize a lot about that person,  threatening never helps, ultimatums never help, it just makes people shut down, and in all reality, my family is very powerful, and don't put up with crap, we have never lost a case, and we always find a loophole. And in this case, we know we have won, we talked to a judge and the STATE attorney he is our friend and he is the most paid attorney in the state of Utah and most wanted,  , and gave the whole situation, detail by detail, making an agreement on paper and typing it up or printing it off a website and making us sign it  is not "legal " unless they themselves took it to court and had it finalized by law, there was no stamp, it was written up and most likely copied off a website. We signed it.  but details which im not disclosing at this point,  its not in our field, and technically we have the right to back down unless it was stamped by a lawyer, we even went to a small claims court and presented the case to the judge there and even he said, what i just stated.   yet we are turning the cheek like God teaches us and sucking it up and we are paying their debt. like i said, money takes over peoples minds, I find it very difficult to not be prideful in this, demanding  people never gets what they want.   I don't get some people. Threats don't help. haha People think by threatening it will get what they want, and in all reality, it only makes it worse.   it made me realize what it said in my patriarchal blessing " the most important thing and challenge you have in this world, is your choice of good friends. They can either lead you for good or for bad,  I'm sure glad that i have my ward friends and great friends who i have had for years. Trust is hard to get.   I really am so sick of bad friends and selling myself short of things, i'm not going to get walked on,  so i decided to get rid of those people in my life and it honestly has made me so much more happier.

I lost a very close friend, one i would call my sister. Jennie.  It happened so suddenly and when i found out, it broke my heart, her husband found her dead on the couch in the morning, her health was just to much for her to handle and God took her with open arms. Im so glad she isnt in pain anymore. She had a son that she adopted and the most adoring husband. She had just graduated with her bachelors degree a month ago. She had so many trials in her life with her health but that didn't stop her for one moment, she strived to be the best she could and to look for the positive. She was basically my sister,  so many are aching for her. My prayers go out to her family.  I pray for them everyday, i cant imagine the pain they are going through,

Jennie. Love you girl, Watch over your son and husband, they need your love more than you can understand.

Our trip to the dinosaur park.  It was empty so it was nice to have just us there roaming the park oh and by the way, Jazz took this photo.

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We had to get rid of our rooster Dumbo, he was getting aggressive and was just to loud, so i had to call animal control.  It really sucks that when you get the chicks they don't know the gender.  Dumbo was Jasper's chicken,  he was sad when

 " dumbo went to McDonald's farm"   Our hens are starting to lay twice a day, sometimes once.  They are fresh eggs. and its nice to give some out to our loved ones and neighbors.  Saves on money for eggs.  Fresh eggs are the best.  Jasper collects the eggs.  Its nice only having two hens. They are warming up and just so lovable.

We promised Jasper that he could get a new chick next year, here is hoping its not a dang rooster.  waking up at 5 am hearing that turd rooing wasn't nice, and all day, even through Shiloh's nap. So glad he is gone.