Broken bones, Surgery and Gingerbread houses. :)

I must admit, it has been awhile since i last wrote. I apologize.  Alot has happened. First off.  i had to get another surgery.  Which is no fun.  Considering they give you pain meds after. Which makes me sick and makes  me loose my appetite. BUT at least they got the disease out.They stuck me 7 times with an IV needle... they couldn't find a vein... i wonder why... they told me not to eat or drink anything past 12!  lol  when i asked if another nurse could come in and give it a go, she got it in one try. haha   but i have 4 busted veins due to the lack of ..whatever you call it... responsibility? eh... anyways.  so i have alot of holes in my arms.  I'm in quite a bit of pain but i am doing better. I have had alot of help from my parents.  I feel completely like a terrible mother. Having had my kids gone everyday all day since the surgery has been hard.  They come home at night so i can be with them. but my body cant handle the rambunctious little boys. My body needs rest.
At the beginning of the month i broke my knee cap.. that went splendidly.    It really wasn't that bad though.. just a crack.  

  I AM PROUD TO ANNOUNCE  I finally said i was done with Jared and Kristin Miller!( round of applause please)   Ben's parents.  Seriously. Im so over their bull crap.  They bring up the past way to much, they don't trust anything i have to say for some ungodly reason,and yet they say they want peace....hmmmmm. yet they constantly abuse, intergiate,    oh and to top it off they called the police on me. hahah it was quite the weird experience actually.   The first thing i did when i walked into their house was, i'm not here to fight, its 9 30 at night i came to get my husband and children and to go home. i'm very tired.   and next thing you know they are calling the police.   The police came,  afterwords the woman police came up to me and thought they were delusional. They saw no point in them calling.  I was in a total state of  mind of " what the hell is their problem"   anyways. the kids were asleep luckily, if they weren't i would have had a much bigger problem with the Millers.  They are just gems let me tell ya,  anyways. bottom line is, they have lost the privilege of being grandparents to my children  i told them that they were no longer allowed to see or talk to them. in front of the police.  The police agreed that they need to back off.  They just are drama and total idiots. And i don't want that around my children especially if they cannot forget the past, move on etc. or yet alone even try to get along with me.. Ben has come to see that they have issues they obviously need to work out. And i'm not going to take the blame anymore.   Everyone sees Jared and Kristin as heavenly creatures when in all reality, they are hellions.  You have no idea. Like i said. I will not let my kids be around that poison or see it.. When they want to grow up. They can give me a call and we can work something out.    But i will not be treated as dirt anymore.  
Shiloh is walking and clapping his hands like crazy. :) Gets into everything!  Jasper has quite the imagination and says " ridiculous" alot.  " mom that's ridiculous"  hahah   Shy still has no teeth.  :(  makes me wonder.    we only have 4 more months in this place and than we are OUT FOR GOOD AND INTO A HOUSE OF OUR OWN!!!    
My parents are finally back from missions for at least a month! Thank goodness!  My birthday is coming up:)    Which means going to our park city condo:) like we do every year..  Tomorrow we get to go to Ben's work thing,  Every year they give out a 500$ gift card to Costco for a Christmas gift and a Christmas bonus of 1500$   so we are going to do our Christmas shopping done tomorrow at Costco. His work reserved a Costco for the employees that day.  I'm excited even though i will be in a wheel chair. Its shopping and i flourish when it comes to shopping! :)   Its been quite the month!  Anyways!    
We have done alot of fun activities including gingerbread houses, cookies, putting up the Christmas tree etc.  Hope you enjoy the photos!!! 

We got family photos done.  Jasper didnt really like doing that.... But we managed to get one picture of him smiling, kinda... so im grateful for that! We got some cute ones of the family though!   I already sent out greeting cards:)! wahoo! ontime!!!!

Missions, and cats, stars and kids

As you probably all know my mom and dad get to go on an exotic mission every month to some place in the world.  This month they are going to Tonga and Micronesia..  i get jealous every once and awhile... Last month they went to Paris and The Ivory Coast in Africa.. They have been to the Phillipines, Estonia, and other places... They are lucky ducks.... humph... So they will be gone all this month. Which sucks... Anyways. 

I am doing better in my health. I've been keeping busy.  Trying to get my mind off everything, cleaning has been my main source of doing that.... our house is spotless.....

Shiloh has been getting up at 430 in the morning and staying up till 7.. Jasper wakes up at 7.. so that means we got...NO sleep. Shy also wakes up at 12 and 3. so we get like 3 hours of sleep or less... i don't know how to break him of this habit.... but it needs to stop... 

The house has become very homey, i'm getting used to it.. As you know i love stars. They remind me of heaven...  so i put up some glass stars in our house like my dad does.  It makes it feel  extra homey now.

Our cat has wanted to venture outside more often... she has seen an orange cat who wanders around here.  I want to adopt it.. it reminds me of my Alveterzane kitty.   I don't know how Ben would take to that or my kitty... but oh well.   

Jasper has loved playing with Shiloh.  I can tell they are going to be best of friends.   They do so well together. 

Shiloh Turned Seven months on the 7th.. he is crawling and standing up on his own. He took a step already. He is a very intelligent little boy and likes to venture and he also tries to do things he is not ready to do yet , but he does them... like standing on his own.. he started crawling at 4-5 months.... i mean....wow... Jasper didnt start crawling till 7 and walking at 12 months.. hahahah its so weird how different they are and how all babies are.

Newest additions to the house.  

Stained glass stars. Each of which has Shiloh and jasper's date of birth and time on them. and the other one has Ben and i's marriage date on there.

7 months

Jasper loves to be with Shy in the crib
just to talk and play with him...

Venturing around the kitchen

CHADRA MILLER You have graduated this life. Congrats

  Benjamin's Grandma died this past week. It has been a hard one for Ben   He loved her very much. One of the memories i remember of her is when we were having a family party and i couldn't find Ben anywhere. i finally went upstairs and Ben and her were playing video games in the bedroom. :) i sat there like....how old are you?     hahha  but Ben loved her.   She accepted me into this family. Every time she would talk to me, she would NEVER forget to mention my beautiful boys.  She was the sweetest lady.   When i first came into the Miller family i remember she used to sit on this bar stool in the kitchen and used to greet everyone. As time passed and she got sicker and sicker she moved to the chair in the living room, NO matter how terrible she felt, she ALWAYS said hello to me.    She was ready to go.   She had to be fed by tube. She was  getting worn out.  She would spend as much time as she could at the parties and than go upstairs.  She was so uncomfortable and so tired.   I am so glad i had the opportunity to meet this sweet lady.  i also got the opportunity to know she wasn't alone while passing.  Her mother and father were there to take her. And she wasn't scared. She wants her children to know how proud she is of them. And her grandchildren to know that she is watching over them,  and her sweet husband to know she is waiting. 
  I remember a story she told at a baptism shortly after Jasper was born,  how she got baptized in a river a cold river. But she didn't regret it once. She was strong in the gospel.  She kept the Miller family in line and made a great legacy behind her.   I'm glad god can now be with her now to hear her stories.  She deserves the best treatment after what she has gone through.    She was a tough cookie!  If there was one thing i could tell her right now as final words.  it would be " thank you for accepting me, even though i wasn't the best at first, you made no judgments.  You always made me feel welcome, i'm glad i had the opportunity to meet you."

Glad she is happier now.   
x0x0
Kelly

THREE MEN DOWN AT THE MILLER HOME!

Shy came down with a terrible cold last night.  Nasty nasty cold.   He cant breathe through his nose.  it runs constantly, fevers, chills, his eyes are watery. :( i spent probably 5 hours last night in the bathroom with the hot shower running to get his nose cleared up while trying to feed him. He was so miserable. :(  My dad since we got NO sleep last night went to go get some dymatap which Drew and I used when we were sick.  Luckily the pharmacist  said we can give him a little.( it was children s not infants.) it has helped.  
Jasper last night was up too, having a hard time breathing and coughing. He has croup. :(  Both kids in our bed.  humidifiers are throughout the house. The Vicks is out. and hopefully we can get some sleep tonight...hopefully.
My dad took the kids at 12.  I felt so bad just having them go while they were sick.  but i had to work at 3 so i NEEDED to get in an hour of sleep.  Having been running on NO sleep for four days, it has been extremely hard.  I guess i feel like a terrible mother.   The pioneers had no help.  I am eternally grateful that i have had my father and mother there for me through all of this and my whole life.
Ben is still struggling with his sickness. He has a really good immune system and hardly gets sick, but when he does, NO medicine will help and its really bad. I have yet to get sick...well.... i am sick.. just threw up so lets hope this work day goes by fast.. its only four hours.  The awesomeness of a part time job. :D  Plus i am the only one working. There is only two co workers here. Amanda and I, so i get to watch movies and relax.  Thank god!  not feeling the greatest now:( anyways.

I now have two jobs! And Two Sick Boys!

Okay, so don't get me wrong, being a mom is full time and overly stressful and overly joyful.  It is amazing. But me and my personality, i like to talk to people and learn i also love to get out every once and awhile.   So yesterday i went to see my friend Amanda, i saw a part time wanted for this dry cleaning place.   I asked about it,  got it the next day. I know they don't get much business and i know its just a " dry cleaners" but it would get me out of the house for 4 hours a day. Plus i would be earning some money to help with upcoming medical bills.  Ben encouraged me not to get a job because of my health and we make enough to support us and more with his job.   But, i feel it COULD make my health a bit better.  Emotionally at least. Getting out for a bit and socializing and taking a breath of fresh air maybe could do me some good.  Plus i am making my own money,  Being a mom, Ben gives me "allowance", yes, weekly at that because being a mom aint easy.  And he does it because he wants me to feel like i have a job and i don't need one in the outside world.  But i want to feel like i'm doing something for myself.
Ben would be working from home sometimes.  My parents would help the rest and Ben's for two hours a day. Ben comes home at five and i go in at three. Its really not that bad. They all live in Bountiful   where i will be working. Its just down the street from both of them.   I'm excited and I'm really anxious to see how it goes with my health + This new job.  But i will be working with One of my best friends, and i have known her since childhood. It is just me and her working there so :) i'm excited.  The Boys will always be with someone they know. either their grandparents or Ben.  and plus, ill only be gone 4 hours.  i would watch them during the day and leave for four hours and come home, spend time with them and put them to bed. :)   i'm talking it out because it sounds better to me that way. Im reassuring myself i guess you could say:D

Ben is sick currently. Ben has a really REALLY good immune system BUT when he does get sick, he gets it bad and no medicine will help.   It makes me sad..  

Shiloh is getting congestion. Which sucks.   So i put some eucalyptus scentsy bars in the warmer to soothe his nose at night and elevated his head.  I will also put a humidifier in there as well.   Lets hope that helps. Shiloh is a trooper though. He can do it.   

Jasper is still as crazy as can be. If he is sick, i don't notice due to his constant hyperness and eagerness to learn about everything.    Some mom i am huh? HA! 

We got internet in our house after two weeks yesterday! WAHOO!!!!!!!!

Heaven is not to far away.

Yesterday on  Sep 20th 2012  we put one of my best friends down. Muffin Chain Sam Schnebly.  ( named him when i was 7)  My dad gave him to me when my other friend died, Alveterzane.  He saved muffin as a kitten. Cutest thing ever. Always so cuddly, never hated, loved fish and cheese, and always growled when he ate cheese :)  Had an "m" on his forehead. The tips of his ears had fur that stuck up... it was cute and he looked like a tiger.  Such a small kitten. And grew to be fat. Always slept by me.  He was 14 and had a heart murmur and cancer, hadn't eaten for days,  when my dad informed me my kitty wasnt doing well,  and hadnt seen him for a few days, i got worried, when they finally found him, he could barely walk, my dad called me and i came down, i told him i would take him in, he was my kitty,  when we went in, i had a slight feeling i may not see him again. But there is always that hope.  Dr Verona told us that he was a very sick kitty, My dad gave me the decision of what to do.. He looked so sad and suffering so much,  its hard when someone who cant talk or express how they feels lives are put in your hands.. i let my pride down and said, ok its time.   They said they would sedate him so he wouldn't feel anything,  they put the cathitor in him  and as they did, i just kept telling him i loved him and that its gonna be OK   He had no will to even budge when they put it in.  They finally came in with the shot, and explained it was an overdose of something or another and it would stop his heart.... my heart broke.. this was the hardest thing i have ever had to do.. my dad and i sat there crying and i held his paw.  Made me sick to my stomach to even look at him... his eyes went black and his body went hard...  his eyes were open and awake when he passed.... my heart broke...i loved him.. he was apart of my family. A family member and one of my best and loyal friends i will ever have and did have. My dad buried him along side his brother Lizard and Alveterzane. Both his brothers in our Forrest at my parents. . This is a post i wont ever read again... I love you Muffin... i wrote it as a journal to remember and so others could remember you by.

New stuff, the fair and Gross people

In Honor Of September 11th I told Jazz the story and he went up to a flag and held it.
It was cute and touching.

The goat decided it was hungry... ate our stroller.

  Jasper and Shiloh and Ben and I got the time to go to the fair! Jasper loved it! He got to ride the roller coasters and ride ponies and see the bunnies and chickens and doves and got to pet the cows, ( although he wasn't so fond of the cows... they were loud and big)   Its pretty scary for a toddler to go up to something that big with horns. But he tried it. Thats all that matters.  Shiloh did welll as well.   He eventually got sick of everything and just wanted his mommy to hold him. He fell asleep in my arms and we decided it was time to go.   I have to admit. Fairs are expensive BUT the good news it we just walked in, without anyone noticing... hahahah so:-/ i mean  it was free rather than paying 20-30 bucks haha  we are so bad:)  anywho!  Ben and I were so worn out after hahaha Fairs and the sun drain ya! And the kids!   
 On another note, we got on the free way and noticed a piece of paper suck under the windshield... we quickly grabbed it.. it was a ticket none the less... it said i had a damaged licence plate and my decals were old... when we got home we looked... my licence plate was perfectly straight on both ends.  and i just got my car registered.  Either this cop was bored or he is just a dick... ANYWAYS. So i took pictures and i am going to go fight it, its ridiculous. My daddy agrees.   Ben and i have a habit of getting pulled over or ticketed for no reason whenever we drive together.  Its a curse.. mainly when we reach the Idaho boarder... we get pulled over everytime for the dumbest things,  going to slow, decals, a window cracked... oh check this one out,  and once going 3 over the speed limit on a road with no traffic...in the middle of no where... its so dumb.

Fun on the Ponies at the fair!

Cant Forget the Cotton Candy

My 7 month boy!! Such a cutie enjoying life!!

As you know im not so fond of the place. But i have done everything to make it homey. Its starting to feel safe and warm accept for the neighbors... freaks... They have like 6 people in a two bedroom house and they have a little chewowow ( or how ever you spell it)   They are so loud and so inappropriate.Plus they smoke, She lets her kids run around outside with a bra and no underwear and this girl is like 12 and i have witnessed them doing the nasty in the kitchen...their door was open, i took the liberty and went to shut it.. They got angry at me for doing so...My kids are outside playing idiots! They just dont know the meaning of birth control.  OR respect.   Anyways!   :)   
We had a barbeque on Sunday.   Both our families came over.   Jasper loved playing with Aunt Anna and Uncle Isaac at the park and in his new room! He has missed them!!! So grateful they came and my parents.  Its always nice to have company!    

The turtles are supposed to mean tranquility and peace and hardwork.

Our entertainment center

Part of our kitchen

Going to our upstairs

My awesome 4D shelf:)  looooove it!!!!!

Ill put more pictures up of the house later:)  These are just sneek peeks:)

The only way to survival is adaptation... and i suck at it.

On Sep 8th we made our big move. Honestly? Was it worth all the tears, heartache?     That was my home.  The day we were moving everything into the UHAL i was trying to avoid everyone, i don't take change well,  i decided to move because we needed a change. And living right next to the in-laws was very hard.    As i looked out my window, i saw all my friends and neighbors haul around and help us move. Tears literally came in my eyes, i was so grateful and so humble.   We had been there for almost 3 years and made memories that will last forever.  I hope that i get used to this place.  There is absolutely no space or storage.    The kitchen has no space for even silverware. We agreed to move into a town home for six months to get a taste of a real house, and than after 6 months we would make our huge move into a house.
   Its just six months right?   Well we haven't even been there a week yet alone four days and ive made enemies with two neighbors, I didnt even mean too.
  My car was parked in an uncovered parking spot ( first come first serve)  and my Latino neighbor bumped into my car and came to my door yelling at me telling me that THAT was her place... uhmmmmm.... she didn't even apologize for hitting my car.  
Suffice to say Through all of this. i made a friend yesterday at the park.   SO nice. I have missed all my friends. And Family.  All i wanted was someone to talk to, or relate with. She has a little two year old boy too:)
   I'm so lonely out there. It is so loud.  i try to make it to bountiful once a day.   Im so miserable out there.   Im hoping god can make it through my hardened heart and soften it for a little bit.
Im making it as homey as i can though.  :)  trying to stay positive.  
Upside is Jasper loves the new place.  Loves his new room. Im glad at least he does.   That makes me happier knowing he does. Ill take pictures of each room once i find places for things to go.. Love you all.

And Shiloh is now sharing a room with Jasper and they love it ... they play so nice together. Such great friends. 

Depressing

So tired after moving

First night in his new room

Exciting news!!

Well. Its official. We are moving!   To west Jordan.   i admit, its kinda scary knowing ill be that far away from my family and friends. But it will be good for us! More space. Less yard. Two bathrooms, Two bedrooms, Spacious though really, i like it. Down side, there is Latinos next door, i'm not racist but we all know how they like to party and do stuff. loud, tons of kids, etc drives me nuts! But who cares!   There is a park across the road from us, and a preschool next door. I'm really confident that this is a good place to be:)   Jasper starts preschool soon. This way i can be close.  Im going to miss my family. Going from seeing them everyday, and Jasper getting to play with friends and his uncle and aunt everyday and a big yard to hardly any yard sucks. but its big enough to have a small  pool and sand box and some toys back there!  Exciting!
Other news. A BIG SHOUT OUT TO my cousins, Sam and Natalyia on their wedding.  And Alyssa and Pete theGarrett's wedding is coming up and his best man is Benjamin:) Ben is quite excited.  
Jasper has loved being out doors.  He has been up to Idaho on the farm with grandma and grandpa whitehair   he fed pigs. he fed horses had fun with the cousins.:)   He has had fun in the pool and playing with his dinosaurs mommy got him.  His favorite thing to do has been going to the dinosaur museum!   He went to the Ogden one with Mommy and Daddy and Shiloh and he went to the Thanksgiving point one with grandpa white-hair. Grandpa white-hair( my dad) loves spending time with Jasper. which i am grateful for.  Jasper loves him.  
Shiloh is everywhere and yes, he does crawl now.  yes, a six month old crawling... amazing.. but he does it! :)  he's kinda a busy body.  I mean he is barely teething, and he can crawl! WOWZERS
Love my kiddos.  

Ben and I made some really good friends which is awesome.  For weeks and months Ben and i have been praying for some good friends. Ben mainly. He got rid of his friends about three years ago due to them being bad influences. He has missed having friends. And has an issue with distancing himself from people because they do back stab. and we finally found these great people. Natalie and Ryan. Both LDS members  Ryan loves to game.  So does Ben. They understand coding which ben does for a living.   They also have a child so they know what its like to be committed to family and have obligations.   Natalie and i clicked right off. shes such a sweetheart.  we both are obsessed with shopping and pinterest. and we are cleaning freaks. We have alot in common.   God does answer prayers.   These are good people and our age who have kids so its nice that Ben found a friend. 

 i will be doing before and after photos of the house so keep reading my blogs to find out what my new house is gonna look like:)

NO PROBLEM mon...

WE are back from Jamaica!  So glad to be home. That is deffientaly not a place i would ever care to go to again unless i stayed at Samsara resort the whole time.  Dont get me wrong, its gorgeous. But its a third world country.. they are VERY poor, so when they see you in this nice resort, and all this money, it can become a problem... they do their living off taxis, and selling what they make on the street.  Which is very beautiful. I made friends with a family of 8 who lived in a three bedroom house. Karen works braiding hair and selling mango's off the street. Her husband drives Taxis. She is the most sweetest lady you will ever meet. Family comes first to her. doesn't matter if its her grand baby and momma, they are always welcome to live at her house even if its sleeping on the kitchen floor. She made them feel welcome. She is very sweet. She always makes the time to make food for them, even her dog, cargo. they don't have much. but they stay together. EVEN THE DOG:)  she charged me 30 and i gave her 50.  We keep in contact:)   We went snorkeling.  such beautiful waters... saw sting and mana wrays.. huge ones. dolphins. all kinds of beautiful fish.. an experience i will never forget. The water there is so warm... We made really good friends with Connie and Tom.  Such wonderful people. We kinda stayed together. They were at Samsara resort with us,  until we had to leave. again we exchanged emails.  Connie is such a wonderful person. and Tom included us and just made us feel safe. They are from Atlanta. :) Shopping was quite the experience.  i love the way they decorate their houses with bright beautiful colors and birds, dolphins lizards etc.. i love it.   such beautiful skin color over there.  The houses and stores are painted bright colors. Turquoise, hot pink, lime green, etc.... there are goats everywhere.  

Ben jumped off the cliffs and loved it. went out in a glass bottom boat, swam with dolphins and enjoyed multiple pina coladas a day:)  loved the ocean. felt so close and safe near it.    Missed my boys most of all though!!!! Ricks cafe was great.  The music is just to die for!!!! Such talent over there! so was stepping on an urchin and the jelly fish sting....  but over all it was a nice get away. one Ben and i needed.