TIME TO BRAG

yes she is my niece and i adore the chuck.  She really is just to die for. Jasper loves the girl.   They get along splendidly :)  Kinners is now 8 months and still cant crawl but thats just cause shes so fat and the doctor said she cant hold her own weight which makes her 10xs  CUTER!!!! i love this little girl.  

Baby Shower for Shiloh

I had an amazing time at the shower:)  It was so packed and i am so grateful for everyone who came:)  It was so nice to chat with my friends and family for a few hours:) i loved seeing everyone.

My everlasting friends:)

The yummy food!

the situations i get myself into without even meaning too...

So... weirdest things i get myself into.    got a concussion today, fell and hit my head, went into labor with out even realizing it...  they did a ultrasound to see if the baby was alright and put me on the monitors... i was dialating at a fast speed and i didn't even feel the contractions.. i was so out of it.. they couldn't put morphine in me due to my concussion and it makes you tired.  so they told me straight out, this baby is going to have to be born today, ..... we cannot give you any medicine at this point due to they are narcotics and we need to keep you awake... 
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OH HECK NO!  you can obviously see my reaction but no i just staired at them in amazement knowing the situations i get myself into...WITHOUT EVEN MEANING TOO... and weridest thing happened... i sat there and i shut my eyes and said a prayer and within ten minutes contractions stopped. i knew i wasn't ready to have this baby yet. my body just wasnt prepared.      this shows just how close god is to you at all times. 

My most precious memories...

My most precious memories are when im with my son and husband, and watching them grow up. Seeing them smile and having fun, learning, making mistakes, talking, loving, laughing. etc... it makes me see how important life is and how much i am a role model to not only my son but my husband. They are my everything.. I love them.

watching Him sleep in my arms when he was born

BEST IDEA EVER

yes.. i had the best idea ever. :) GIVE YOUR CHILDREN WATERPROOF MARKERS WHILE THEY ARE IN THE BATH!! ( that is if you can never wash their hair because they will never let you OR they are to busy trying to pour water all over you ..... its the best idea ever:) I ACTUALLY GOT TO WASH HIS HAIR without getting sopping wet :) i guess you could say im amazing.. ;p

yes... guilty...im letting him color on the bathroom walls...
WITH WATERPROOF MARKERS!!! tee hee

hes so talented!

Than and now...

People can change.. i promise you... im tired of people judging me on how i was to whom i am now... my views, morals and how i am have completely changed.. i went from a girl who was lost, abused, and surrounded by drugs and drank etc.... to a woman of the LDS church and going to be sealed now.. it took years for me to transform. And it took alot of strength and love from my husband and family to get me to where i am now. I had to make a ton of mistakes and get down to rock bottom at times and be able to pull myself back up again.  Irt took 4 years..... and i promise you... im not the girl i was...

Im a mom now, and a wife, and proud of who i am... please stop judging me/ bringing the past up.. the past is called the past for a reason.Like i tell my son everyday, "dont ever judge people when they make mistakes because you yourself are making a mistake by judging".. today is the present...thats all that matters...

You know your in love when....

You know your meant for someone when they are at work, and every time you think of him, you find yourself smiling each time :) and than you turn around and you see your son smiling at you and runs up to you and says " MOMMY, MOM!!! WUV YOU!!! "  THATS how you know your meant for people is those simple things in life that people take for granite each day, but for me. when ever i hear my boy talk, or say those words or when i think of my wonderful husband, all i can do is smile and be grateful that those two boys are in my life and how much they complete me. I couldn't be more grateful. 

Labor

Im terrified.... you think i wouldnt be...since i already had a kid once...but i am... and im not looking forward to the pain/ loooong needle / pooping/throwing up.. labor dealeo....... and yes no matter what people say to try to ease the tension... labor sucks... pain is terrible.. and i got to be honest with you...its the worst experience if you dont like pain.. even if you get the epidural...sorry folks... im an honest girl. and p.s the epidural needle is like literally ------------------------------------------------------------------------   this long. Just for your information..   buut good news is, after all that pain and pushing, etc... i got to hold the greatest gift alive.. Jasper Benjamin Miller...   but also to be honest after all that and not being able to have water or food for 14 hours i didn't feel a connection with Jazz until i got a little more stabilized and rested.. i knew he was safe and sound and healthy and that was enough for me to say " ben you need to take him while i rest for a bit."   THATS NATURAL!!!     alot of people think that when you just have the baby, its automatically a connection, but if you have pushed for a while and been in labor for two days literally,  its totally natural to feel out of it.  i felt like informing everyone of this..   but when i woke up from resting, my husband was right there singing to Jazz. and rocking him. and i knew that was my baby and i was ready for him.  

when i woke up from resting, i found my boys.. happiest moments...

falling asleep next to my son was the greatest blessing..

Right after i had him...

Life can get hard..

Ok. life can get hard. especially when you have a two year old running around everywhere non stop and no matter how hard you try to get him to listen and help out.... more marker gets on the walls or he crawls out of timeout and hides or he somehow finds chocolate and YOU YOURSELF didnt even know where it was..... humph.... but the bottom line is that i have learned, im proud of him for even learning how to draw or eat or run...it keeps me going in life. and it helps me learn more about his personality everyday.. even if its bad looking at the time... his art skills are amazing... and his taste in chocolate is spectacular.... and believe it or not...he is going to be the fastest runner in school <3 

The New Year And A New Blog!!

First off,   I have only 6 more weeks of being pregnant! The doctor thinks this baby will come within this week or next though! exciting news!   Jasper is now almost two and he is really growing up. i must say i am so very proud to call him my son,  im so proud of everything he has accomplished.    His vocabulary consists of
" OH man!"
" Hello"
" ANNA!!"
" UHM   NO WAY"
" WHERE IS SHE/HE?"
" SHOW/MOVIE"
" DADDY/MOMMY"
"PA AND MA ( short for grandma and grandpa)"
" oh geeze"
" Blocks"
" please"
and a whole lot more. 
he "literally" watches ice age 2 times a day! he loves that show! he loves to play with the blocks and build lego towers with his mommy and daddy. he is still getting used to nursery ( after 4 months already) we are beginning to think he will never like it.. ugh!   he loves dinosaurs and cars. oh and barney :)   


Ben is currently at a great job. he is a graphic designer and programmer for Mindshare. a great company.   he is earning salary wage and is loving it! college paid off for sure!   He loves spending time playing his piano and guitar and his number one favorite thing is being with his family. whom he adores more than anything. you can literally see it in his eyes. 

We finally are all together..